He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her back. He ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly.
Then, he proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, sliding his hand over her stomach, and then down the other side to a point below her waist.
He continued on, gently feeling her hips, first one side and the other. His hand ran further down the outside of her thighs.
His gentle stroking then started up the inside of her left thigh, stopped and then returned to do the same to her right thigh.
By this time the woman was becoming aroused and she squirmed a little to better position herself.
The man stopped abruptly and rolled over to his side of the bed.
"Why are you stopping?" she whispered.
He whispered back, "I found the remote".
2.
My wife's in hospital after eating a bacon sandwich.
It was mine!
我妻子在吃了一个培根三明治后进了医院。
那是我的三明治!
3.My daughter said, “Dad, what do you want for your tea?”
I said, “Nothing for me love, I’ve lost my appetite.”
She said, “That’s not like you.”
“I know,” I said, “but I’ve just seen yer mum trying on a bikini.”